Sunday, May 8, 2011

How to boost traffic to your blog!

Well, according to my Blogger statistics reports, the best way to boost traffic is to include at least one photo of an attractive young female in every single post. These ladies should be fairly well known, but not so much so that your post would be forever lost among millions of other pages about them online. And you should probably mention her full name a couple of times. And also, something filthy. You can never go wrong with something filthy. Here are three fine examples, starring the beautiful and talented Danielle Panabaker, Shannyn Sossamon and Claire Forlani:

Danielle Panabaker may be totally adorable, but chances are that she gave her junior high boyfriend a sloppy, drunken BJ on their first real date and forgot not to swallow

Shannyn Sossamon is quite obviously one seriously gorgeous individual, but I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere that she lost her ass virginity in a filthy gas station men's room to some douche who thought her name was Sharon

Everybody knows that Claire Forlani is an extremely classy broad, but her husband probably can't even look her in the eyes anymore ever since that time she let him go number one all over her boobs in an attempt to spice up their marriage

Yeah. That sort of stuff. Please note that most of the traffic this method gets you comes from image search engines, so odds are that nobody will actually read your posts. Also, no girls. So if you're counting on the woman of your dreams to find your blog this way and fall madly in love with all your stupid crap, then you are sadly mistaken.

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